I did a post once before in this rather sporadic top 5 feature that I do where I talked about my favourite character names of all time, today, these are my least favourite, so… The Top 5 Worst Character Names EVER.
#5 Horatia Frie (The Lux Guardians series)
In fact, a lot of the names in the Lux Guardians were confusing because there were two sets of twins, Honour and Horatia (Honour being a boy and Horatia a girl) and Bennett and Branwell (Bennett being a girl and Branwell being a boy) I’m all for switching up the gender of a name, but having so many Hs and Bs around made it a bit confusing and then there was Horatia, dear God, that poor girl. It’s bad enough that she lives in Forgotten London but she also has to deal with the fact that her name is Horatia.
#4 Cricket Bell (Lola and the boy next door)
Who the hell names their kid Cricket. CRICKET. Cricket is a sport and an insect, it is NOT a name. This kid is also a twin, but he didn’t get the short end of the straw, oh no.
#3 Calliope Bell (Lola and the boy next door)
Calliope? CALLIOPE? Are you freaking kidding me? I don’t even know how to pronounce that. No wonder that Calliope was so mean to Lola, she was jealous that she had a decent name.
#2 Renesme Carlie Cullen (Twilight)
I’m not going to Twilight bash, if you want a brainless, trashy vampire novel, Twilight fills its role rather well. If you’re looking for feminist literature that doesn’t have absolutely disgusting gender roles and attitudes towards women you probably should leave it alone. Also, if you want this poor kid to have a good life free from being picked on by having a stupid name, you should also probably leave this book be, because I can’t guarantee you that.
#1 Albus Severus Potter (Harry Potter series)
You guys were waiting for this one right? Dear God, hearing that J K Rowling regretted Ronmione was ridiculous, if she had anything from that series to regret it was little Albus Potter’s name. The poor kid.
So, those are my least favourite fictional names, honourable mentions also go to Peeta Mellark, the poor boy is a baker’s son that’s been named after a type of bread, I hope his brothers are called Panini and Baguette or something equally as stupid and Phillip Pirrip (Pip) because that is just a damn difficult name to say.