Film reviews in 10 tweets or less

Hello dear reader, I hope you’re well?
So, lets get a thing out of the way. I love stories. I don’t care how theyre told, I just really like stories and I like getting meta about stories and while I started this blog to encourage me to start reading again, I think what it has become is a place where I can experience and enjoy stories and then get meta about them, whether they are my stories or someone else’s.
Ya’ll know as this is a blog called the Perks of Being a Bookworm, that I like reading. I also really like films (you can click here for proof on that one) and I came to the realisation the other day, that when I read a book and I really like it, I review it and analyse it and then post it here, when I like a film, I tend to head to twitter and just flail about random moments over there. So, I thought, for the sake of prosperity, that every time I post a tweeted film review, I would then also post it here. Just for you guys. Also because I am clearly a narcissist and can’t deal with posting something only once. (Also because I have seen lots of great films recently – like The Martian for instance and I didn’t actually tell anyone about them.)

Let’s go!

Recently, I rewatched some things I hadn’t watched for ages and I watched something I hadn’t watched before. Let’s see if these three tweeted film reviews make a good enough post to make this a regular feature then, eh?

Rock ‘n’ Rolla

RocknRolla_Poster

 Lenny Cole, a London mob boss, puts the bite on all local real estate transactions. For substantial fees, he’s helping Uri Omovich, a Russian developer. As a sign of good faith, Omovich loans Cole a valuable painting, promptly stolen off Cole’s wall. While Cole’s men, led by the dependable Archie, look for the canvas, three local petty criminals, the Wild Bunch, steal money from the Russian using inside information from his accountant, the lovely Stella. Meanwhile, a local drug-addled rocker, Johnny Quid, is reported drowned, and his connection to Cole is the key to unraveling the deceits and double crosses of life in the underworld.

Something you may not know about me is that I bloody love a London accent. I think its because my family are Londoners. I feel at home with a London accent and sometimes, you need a comfort of a nice homely accent. So I thought to myself, I know, I need to watch a Guy Richie movie. We all know Snatch is awesome and ya’ll know how I feel about Sherlock Holmes and Robert Downey Jr, but Rock n Rolla is one of the most underrated, silly gangster movies ever. All you really need to know about this is its Guy Richie at his best and it is an absolute travesty that the sequel has never seen the light of day.
Also, it features Idris Elba before he got super famous and you know if something has Idris Elba in it, it’s bound to be good. So, what did I inflict on the good people of Twitter when I sat down to watch this?

October 10th
“if a slap don’t work, you cut em or you pay em, but you keep your receipts cos this aint the mafia.”

anyone else miss guy ritchie’s gangster movies? Still praying for a rocknrolla sequel.

Mostly for more mark strong, toby kebbel and my bae, handsome bob.

ya’ll know when i say that what i really mean is i want gerard butler and tom hardy to slow dance again but for longer

Actually, can i have a whole 2 hour long film just about that? Guy Ritchie, can we set up a kickstarter to get this done?

Ahhh what a steller bit of reviewing there. I think this feature is going to work out nicely, don’t you?

Inception

Inception_OST Dom Cobb is a skilled thief, the absolute best in the dangerous art of extraction, stealing valuable secrets from deep within the subconscious during the dream state, when the mind is at its most vulnerable. Cobb’s rare ability has made him a coveted player in this treacherous new world of corporate espionage, but it has also made him an international fugitive and cost him everything he has ever loved. Now Cobb is being offered a chance at redemption. One last job could give him his life back but only if he can accomplish the impossible-inception. Instead of the perfect heist, Cobb and his team of specialists have to pull off the reverse: their task is not to steal an idea but to plant one. If they succeed, it could be the perfect crime. But no amount of careful planning or expertise can prepare the team for the dangerous enemy that seems to predict their every move. An enemy that only Cobb could have seen coming.

Now, I love Inception. It’s one of my absolute faves, just everything about it is incredible, but would you know that from the nonsense I spewed on Twitter. Let’s find out!

October 18th.
Listening to Inception made me want to watch Inception and now I’m remembering all the Arthur/Eames fan fic I used to read

Also makes me want Leo to win an oscar.

Hello Sunday, I would like to watch all the Leo DiCaprio films today please.

Whilst reading all the Arthur/Eames fic. Good times.

I JUST FOUND A FANFIC VIDEO CALLED 500 DAYS OF EAMES. OMG. I DON’T REMEMBER THAT ONE! (if you ever wanted proof that Leah is trash)

Wow. So… Instead of reviewing Inception in easy to read tweets, I talked about what I got up to at university, which was, yes, mostly reading Arthur/Eames fan fic that I found on Tumblr. Good thing that the final film to feature in this post did actually sort of get reviewed over on Twitter…

Child 44

share-final2Based on the first of a trilogy by Tom Rob Smith and set in the Stalin era of the Soviet Union. The plot is about an idealistic pro-Stalin security officer who decides to investigate a series of child murders in a country where supposedly this sort of crime doesn’t exist. The state would not hear of the existence of a child murderer let alone a serial killer. He gets demoted and exiled but decides, with just the help of his wife, to continue pursuing the case.

This film was bloody great. Like I know Gary Oldman is a bit problematic, but he is a damn fine actor. Also T Hardz and Paddy Considine. Brilliant cast, the cinematography made me want to cry and it was all so multi layered and eurgh. I could rave all day about this and rave I did for several minutes.

October 20th

So child 44 is freaking great. Like eurgh i was having nerdgasms at that cinematography

Also t-hardz getting arrested in his matching pjs was great

Like ok its not historically accurate but by god what a complex storyline

And paddy considine was perf. As was noomi rapace. Like dayum gurl you fight the patriarchy! (Or the slimey guy trying to kill your hubby)

Basically its

Now i want an old fashioned news boy hat like they all wore in fifties russia

Wow. Emojis look super weird on wordpress!
So, what do we think. Is this the type of steller content you want to see on this blog, perhaps you think my film related flailings should stay where they are. Either way, I think this was marginally successful. We shall see, we all know I’m not great at creating and then sticking to features over here.

Other films I have watched recently, but didn’t mention on Twitter (like anyone cares) were:
The Martian – seriously, if you make a film about a man stuck on Mars, you put David Bowie’s Life on Mars in the soundtrack, ok? (It featured other Bowie songs, which is what makes this so much worse). Its great, but its hella long. The drama and the pacing is superb though. Even if like me, you can’t take Matt Damon seriously because of Team America.
Shutter Island – a rewatch because I watched Inception and then wanted all the Leo DiCaprio. It’s bloody brilliant, but I still have no idea what the ending line means!
Layer Cake – After Rock n Rolla, I wanted more London gangsters and I’d never seen Layer Cake. I didn’t like it. Mostly because I don’t rate Daniel Craig at all. Also, he is far too posh for all the swears he was throwing around.

(post post writing thought – three of these films are based on books I’ve not read… Should I read them? Let me know if they’re any good. – other thought, four of these films feature T Hardz and two of them feature Leo Di Caprio. Weird. I swear I do watch other actors. Honest. )

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